I stood in my bedroom doing my makeup when I heard my parents across the hall in the bathroom. My father was groaning in immense pain and luckily my mother was there to help him.
I was a self-absorbed twenty-something at the time — bouncing back and forth between two men like a rubber ball. But this moment between my parents struck me. My father moaned. “It’s okay,” my mother said to him. “I’m here.”
That was the start of my father’s painful side effects from his prostate cancer years prior — something that would only get worse with time.
As I leaned toward the mirror, slipping mascara onto my lashes, I heard more grumbling from my father. I froze. I was stuck in their moment with no place to go. I heard a clank in the bathroom. A mess was made out of my father’s control. My mother would be the one to clean it up. “I’m so sorry,” my dad said.
“It’s okay,” my mom said. “I’m here.”
After I was done with my makeup, I sat on my bed with the door cracked open. While I was nervous about my dad’s health, tears fell onto my jeans because I finally realized something — THIS is marriage.
Marriage isn’t found at the big wedding, the trendy date nights, or even hours spent together on the couch watching Netflix. Marriage is found in the darkness — with one spouse helping the other during a time that would be humiliating to share with anyone else.
As young girls and boys, we watch movies and read stories about happy endings, blissful beginnings, and comedic in-betweens. But true romance is found when two people need each other, are vulnerable with one another, and can wholeheartedly depend on one another during the darkest times in life.
I sat on my bed, and at that moment, I decided to stop bouncing. I wanted my future to look like my parents’ — imperfect but beautiful.
My parents’ marriage and my marriage have been full of dips and peaks, but witnessing the true love in their moment will forever keep reminding me that marriage is found in the toughest spots in life — even the bathroom.
Thanks to Angela Anagnost-Repke for sharing
My Commentary:
This reflection is powerful because it reveals where real love is often found — not in grand moments, but in ordinary acts of presence during difficult times.
The bathroom floor becomes almost sacred in this story. A man weakened by illness. A wife kneeling beside him. Fear, vulnerability, exhaustion, and tenderness all gathered into one quiet moment. It is not glamorous. It is not romantic in the way the world usually defines romance. But for someone trying to follow the example of Jesus, it is something far deeper — covenant love.
Modern culture often treats love as a feeling sustained by excitement, beauty, or convenience. But Christian love is proven most clearly in suffering. Marriage vows are easy to recite on a wedding day. Their true meaning emerges years later in hospitals, sleepless nights, medications, tears, and whispered reassurances like, “I’m here.”
Those words matter.
“I’m here” may be one of the holiest things a human being can say to another person.
It echoes the very heart of God throughout Scripture. Again and again, God’s promise is not, “You will never suffer,” but “I will be with you.” Presence becomes love’s greatest gift.
The reflection also beautifully contrasts youthful ideas of romance with mature love. Young people often imagine love through happiness, adventure, and attraction. Those things matter, but they are incomplete. Deep love is forged in hardship. It is revealed when someone stays. When they kneel beside weakness instead of running from it.
The daughter’s final realization is profoundly true: “My parents’ marriage forever reminded me that marriage is found in the tough spots in life — even the bathroom.”
Followers of Jesus always understood this mystery. The holiest love is often hidden inside ordinary sacrifice. A spouse cleaning up after illness. Holding trembling hands. Whispering comfort in moments of fear. These are not interruptions to love. They are its fullest expression.
Because in the end, love is not measured by how people celebrate one another when life is easy. It is measured by who remains kneeling beside us when life falls apart.
If YOU have not already had a serious talk with the young people in your life about love and marriage, hopefully this reflection will spur you to do so.
SMILE AND FORGIVE. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO LIVE!!
The young people in YOUR life – teenagers and young adults who are starting to date – should read this story. Only YOU can share it with them. Introduce them to www.TreatsfortheSoul.org. And be sure to listen to my DAILY PODCAST and invite them to do so. Over 112,000 people have listened over the last 6 years. On May 20th 3,053 people listened to my Podcast.
