Some time ago three other drivers and I all arrived at a Four Way Stop intersection at virtually the same moment.
Although too many drivers seem unaware of this fact, the rule at Four Way Stops is that drivers take turns in a clockwise fashion or according to whoever got to the intersection first.
In this case, the four of us arrived simultaneously and so there was no logical starting point for even a clockwise rotation. What happened instead is that each of the four of us was making hand gestures to encourage someone to go first.
After being momentarily stuck with no one moving, the next thing you knew, all four of us crept forward a bit at the same moment! Again we all stopped and again we all encouraged each other to go first.
After lots of silly grins and even laughter among us four strangers, eventually we managed to get someone to go first. It was the complete opposite of what often characterizes road rage — We were terminally deferential! But it was hilarious and wonderful at the same time.
I think that something of that kind of DEFERENTIAL JOY must characterize the interior life of the Trinity — the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. There is something wonderful about a shared love and a shared enthusiasm of one person for the other that is so intense, it results in a never-ending dance of affirmation and celebration right within the Trinity.
Today’s Trinity Sunday Gospel reading from John 16:12-15 is pretty brief. Yet packed into this short reading is the animating energy, verve and effervescence that exists at the bright center of the universe: that Holy Community that just is God in three persons — a Blessed Trinity!
Jesus said to his disciples:
“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.
But when he comes, the Spirit of truth,
he will guide you to all truth.
He will not speak on his own,
but he will speak what he hears,
and will declare to you the things that are coming.
He will glorify me,
because he will take from what is mine and declare it to you.
Everything that the Father has is mine;
for this reason I told you that he will take from what is mine
and declare it to you.” (John 16: 12-15)
Thanks to Scott Hoezee for sharing.
Think of a time when YOU shared DEFERENTIAL JOY with others. What did it feel like?
LORD, I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER. PLEASE BRING PEACE TO MY CONFUSION, JOY TO MY SADNESS AND HOPE TO MY HEART!
Every day I now provide a Commentary and a Prayer Reflection of the Daily Treat on my Podcast. I invite you to please listen to the above Podcast. Here is the text of what you would be missing today —
My Commentary: Deferential Joy — The Trinity in Everyday Life
The story of four drivers stuck at a four-way stop, each deferring to the other, may seem ordinary—even comical—but it beautifully reflects a rare and sacred human impulse: deferential joy. It’s that warm-hearted willingness to yield, not out of obligation, but from love, respect, and delight in another’s well-being.
In a world so often defined by competition, assertion, and road rage—literal or figurative—this moment of mutual deference shines like a glimpse into divine life. No one was impatient. No one demanded their turn. Instead, each person offered their moment to the other, creating laughter and connection in the unlikeliest of places: a traffic intersection.
This is exactly the kind of relational joy that theologians have long said characterizes the Trinity. The Father glorifies the Son. The Son glorifies the Father. The Spirit glorifies both. Each person of the Trinity is constantly pointing to, lifting up, and celebrating the others in a divine dance of love.
John’s Gospel (16:12–15) offers a brief but profound insight into that reality. The Spirit doesn’t speak on His own, but passes on what He hears—what belongs to the Son, which belongs to the Father. This is not hierarchy but holy harmony, a joy-filled flow of giving and receiving. It is divine deference: no competition, only shared glory and shared mission.
To live in deferential joy, even in traffic, is to echo the inner life of God. When we defer with kindness, when we celebrate others’ gifts, when we share joy in giving rather than grasping, we take part in the dance of the Trinity.
My Prayer Reflection:
God of Joyful Communion,
Teach me to live with a heart like Yours—
Not grasping for first place,
But delighting in giving way with grace.
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
You are not isolated beings,
But one glorious relationship of love.
May Your unity be reflected in my life.
When I feel the urge to push ahead,
Slow me down with Your peace.
When I’m tempted to demand or dominate,
Fill me with the freedom of humility.
Let me find joy, not in getting my way,
But in creating space for others.
May my words lift up, not weigh down.
May my actions reflect Your divine dance.
And in small moments—
At intersections, in meetings, at the dinner table—
Remind me that deferential joy
Is not weakness but holiness in motion.
I need You now, Lord.
Bring Your peace into my confusion,
Your joy into my sadness,
Your hope into my waiting heart.Amen.
